Dorsey...for you my son
If I had died there in that jungle - full
in Vietnam - there would be
no you - no beautiful boy under the sun,
no donuts on Sunday - no perfect smiles,
no bicycle rides - no arguments,
no apologies - only the black of nothingness,
eternal night & tears.
If I had died there, in a rice field,
far away from the love I found,
in your adorable mother,
there would be no good night kisses,
no Dad, no "I love you first,"
no I hate you or, I don't want tos,
that make you my extraordinary, sensitive son,
my son, great love, my boy, my bright one.
That I live for you, protect & cherish,
and sometimes love you too much,
smothering you with instructions,
is somehow - the price I paid,
for survival - and O that gift ungiveable,
unattainable from the dark sky of death -
If I had died there, in that jungle, in
my bones lay still & silent,
bleached by sunlight, wet by night,
under the quivering monsoon skies,
then I would miss you, Dorsey smiling son,
O deep hurt - painful beyond death or
known imagination's hottest fire - the sun;
But I lived to love you,
tearfully at times, exhausting & spectacular,
and lived to love for all those other men,
who died and for their unborn sons,
their most beloved loves,
Dorsey, If I had died there,
if I had died in Vietnam.
Written on the inside cover of a book entitled "Nam, The
Vietnam Experience," which I bought for my son Dorsey, who as a boy loved to dress in camouflage. J.E. Dorsey was my grandfather,
my first inspiration as an artist, a violin maker in Houston,
Texas, Jack Edward Dorsey died in 1980, but his name lives on
in this pen name, which keeps his memory alive. I began using my own name in 2011 in much of my poetry.
Doug Claybourne, writing under the pseudonym
J.E. Dorsey, has written some twenty five books of poetry since
1995, only one of which he has self published in limited numbers. This published
book is entitled One hundred love sonnets and one sad poem...
It was given as a wrap gift following filming of The Mask
of Zorro as it was written one poem a day for a hundred
days. A CD entitled Selected Sonnets from
"One hundred love sonnets and one sad poem... features
readings of the poems by Gary Busey, Renee Estevez, R. Wayne
Kruse, Zak Maloy, Mary Kay Place, Catherine Zeta Jones, Julieta
Rosen, Glenda Silvey and Martin Sheen.
The readings are accompanied by an original score created by
the popular solo pianist Jim Brickman of Windham Hill Records.
All of the artists donated their work for the project as proceeds
from the package went toward a college education fund for six children
in Mexico along with Dougs own two children.